Once a nerdy, skinny professor of philosophical psychology who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach using therapeutic methods.
Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man (http://www.auratransformation.org/blog),” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/manup…) and answers based on his experience coaching (https://www.auratransformation.org/co…) tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.”
Man Up Show Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/manupcommunity/
David’s also prepared 5+ hours of free video courses that reveal how to make your relationship passionate, how to make friends anywhere, how to talk to anyone, and a lot more. Click Here: http://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass
Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up.
Hi, I’m David Tian, Ph.D. and this is episode 43 of Man Up. I’m answering a private email question from Tim. And Tim asked the question of: He has trouble pulling the trigger, so to speak, when he’s out on a date with a girl. Can’t get sexual, can’t get physical or can’t get the kiss. And I asked him in the follow-up whether he knows how to kiss a girl, like the mechanics of it. He’s like, “Yes, I know how to. In fact, I know how to do it smoothly because I took your course,” whatever.
The problem isn’t the techniques or what to say to build sexual tension or to make it smooth or whatever or to set the environment, the setting, so it feels romantic. But the problem for him is that when the time comes, he has too much anxiety around what’s going to happen in the actual act, I guess, and he doesn’t move forward. He doesn’t pull the trigger, he doesn’t take action.
After further probing I found out it’s sort of like a problem, in general, in his life. When it requires stepping outside his comfort zone, he doesn’t really do it. He’s very much in his comfort zone, he’s been in that, and now he’s in his early 30’s. That’s an overall life problem that he needs to address.
But also, it came up that he didn’t want his parents to know that he’s learning about bettering himself or even just learning about female psychology. I asked him – he’s been to a Tony Robbins event – “What if he went to see a Tony Robbins– “ Like, “When you did, did you tell your parents?” He’s like, “No, I couldn’t.”
It was interesting because there is – so, the background is he’s an Asian person, born and raised in Asia, still living in Asia, in the same country he was born and raised in – that there is this lack of understanding around psychology. And in fact, psychology is so important that if you’re in the Humanities and Social Sciences in university, you should – if you’re not doing a major in Psychology – you should at least do a minor in it.
For transcriptions and more free resources, go here: http://www.davidtianphd.com/mindset/why-men-have-trouble-with-women/