This was a spontaneous creation. For Christmas I received a new toy, a Midi Controller. I was learning the different ways to use it and in the process created a song that was actually pretty inspiring. It, once “finished,” really got me moving and I decided(also after 4 beers) that I should dance. I figured If I was gonna dance I should probably record that too. Long story short. I ended up with my headphones on and my shirt off at 5 am in the morning vibe-ing the ef out in my living room for an hour, on camera.
Now that I am posting and sharing it, its even extra releasing for me than I initially though. I am half naked, you can tell where my dick is(that bothers some people.) I really started to not be happy with the shape I was in about 2 years ago. So It’s really nice, after running and working out a lot, to be back to a weight and level of fitness that I am proud of, and I don’t mind showing that off. I wont have it for ever and I got it back for a brief time, might as well use it for something. I love my body and how it moves. I’m not gonna hide it.
In my intoxication I also got a little emotional while I danced. It was such a relief to let my body and my mind just start doing whatever it wanted to do to this new music that I had just created. I became overwhelmed. I honestly started to cry a little while I danced. It was mostly at the realization of how much I missed it, how much I love it, and how it really is my favorite thing to be doing and creating and I shouldn’t have abandoned it for so many years.
Anyway, I spent the next day cutting the 3 different videos that I took together into something interesting and that’s what we have here. As I watched the finished piece it still makes me emotional, but I just see it as a release and as an abstract sort of tell-all about how my year has been.
It’s a pretty accurate depiction of how I feel about this recent chapter. As I re-watch I notice snippets that really capture for me, the interesting shifts that took place for me this year, because of Covid and other significant changes in my life, around my relationships, my jobs, and my desires. How some things were fun and other parts, not at all. I hear the music and I see the movement and it takes me to a number of different places in my heart and mind. What a crazy year it has been, out there around the planet, but also inside each of us individually.
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